Is that a pork loin in your pants, or are you just glad to see me?

This comes from Ultimateclearlake.com (TX)…

Three people were arrested in Friendswood over the weekend after grocery store employees reported that they had swiped some meat and smuggled it out in their pants.

Friendswood police said they were called to the HEB at 701 W. Parkwood at 1:08 p.m. Sunday. Employees provided a description of the suspects and their car, and officers said they captured them fleeing down South Friendswood Drive.

During the investigation, police said they found meat from both the HEB and a Kroger at 3135 FM 528.

During a search of the suspects’ vehicle, police said they also found a bottle of Metoclopramide where one of the suspects had been sitting. The suspect did not have a prescription for the anti-nausea drug, police said.

Laura Wylie, 45, of Channelview, David Glaze, 23, of Channelview and Joseph Smith, 40, of Channelview were each charged with misdemeanor theft and held on bail of $1,000 each.

Smith was also charged with possession of a dangerous drug, a misdemeanor with a $1,500 bond.

Welcome to the Hotel California

The AP reminds you to pay your hotel bills…

Actor Randy Quaid and his wife have been released from a West Texas jail after their arrest for allegedly skipping out on a $10,000 California hotel bill.

Quaid and his wife, Evi, each posted $20,000 bail late Thursday after spending several hours in jail, Presidio County Sheriff Danny Dominguez said. Dominguez said he drove the actor to a bank to obtain the bail money.

The Quaids were taken into custody Thursday afternoon. Dominguez said a deputy spotted the couple driving into town, and that they had been staying at a Marfa hotel.

The felony warrant for Quaid and his wife was issued out of Santa Barbara County, Calif. The warrant was for burglary, defrauding an innkeeper and conspiracy.

A message left for Randy Quaid’s commercial agent, Steven Arcieri, was not immediately returned.

Quaid won a Golden Globe and was nominated for an Emmy for his portrayal of President Lyndon Johnson in LBJ: The Early Years, but he’s perhaps best known for his roles in the National Lampoon’s Vacation movies, Independence Day and Kingpin.

He also played a hard-nosed sheep rancher in Brokeback Mountain, then sued Focus Features and the film’s producers in 2006, alleging he was compelled to work cheaply when told the film — which made $82 million at the domestic box office — had no prospects of making money.

Quaid was born in Houston and is the older brother of actor Dennis Quaid.

Marfa, a remote West Texas town, is no stranger to Hollywood attention.

More than 50 years ago, filmmaker George Stevens settled on the area for his epic Texas oil tale Giant, which starred Rock Hudson, Elizabeth Taylor and James Dean. (Stevens won a best director Oscar for Giant in 1957, the only win of that film’s 10 nominations). More recently, There Will be Blood and No Country for Old Menwere filmed in the town of 2,100, founded as a railroad stop in 1883.

Best not to say “boo” to an armed man

The AP brings us this public service announcement…

BANDERA — Be careful who you say “Boo!” to.

A Bandera County jailer was shot in the thigh after he jumped out and roared at a deputy in a darkened room at Bandera County Sheriff’s Department office.

Chief Deputy Don Berger says Deputy A.J. Griffin shot 22-year-old Daniel Spengler before dawn Sunday. Spengler was airlifted to Wilford Hall Medical Center in San Antonio for treatment.

Berger says the 36-year-old deputy “revert to his training” when the jailer jumped at him, shooting Spengler once, then giving him first aid.

Griffin is on paid leave until the Texas Rangers complete their investigation. Berger says Spengler’s wound does not appear to be life-threatening, but he faces possible disciplinary action after he recovers.

Bandera is about 40 miles west of San Antonio.

There’s stalking, and then there’s stalking

The AP brought us this breath of fresh air…

CONCORD, Calif. — Police have arrested a California pilot who they say stalked his ex-girlfriend by repeatedly flying his plane low over her house. (See a blogger’s photos of the plane here.)

Concord police Sgt. Tiffiny Leftwich says Tom Huey made several low passes over a residential neighborhood Wednesday evening.

A dozen residents called police to complain. Huey was arrested shortly after landing the Beech single-engine aircraft.

Leftwich says police have been investigating reports of a low-flying plane in the area for more than a year. (More on this story here andhere.)

Huey’s girlfriend filed for a restraining order last year, but he was not served until Wednesday afternoon.

Huey is being held on $155,000 bail on suspicion of felony stalking and violating a restraining order.

You don’t need to make a federal case out of it…

USA Today and the Palm Springs (CA) Desert Sun drove this one…

PALM SPRINGS, Calif. — A La Quinta man is scheduled to face a federal magistrate this month on accusations he threw thousands of golf balls into Joshua Tree National Park for more than a year.

Park rangers cited and released Douglas Jones, 57, on Aug. 17 with abandoning property, littering and feeding wildlife.

“Since (some time in) 2007, he had been coming into the park and just throwing golf balls across the landscape just tossing them out of a vehicle,” park spokesman Joe Zarki said Wednesday. “Apparently, there’s some tennis balls involved, as well.”

Jones also left cans of fruit and vegetables along the side of park roads and scattered park literature and permit forms, Zarki said.

“It wasn’t daily, but frequent enough that rangers were aware of it and keying into looking for this individual,” he said. “It was a time-consuming and fairly expensive issue for us.”

Zarki said park rangers spent more than 370 hours looking for and cleaning up after Jones, who is believed to have scattered as many as 3,000 golf balls at different locations in the national park.

“We had $9,000 of staff time tied up into that,” Zarki said.

Eventually, rangers found Jones in the park, confronted him and he confessed to what he had been doing, Zarki said.

Zarki said Jones told rangers he threw the golf balls because he wanted to leave his mark and also to honor deceased golfers. He left the food for stranded hikers.

Jones is scheduled to face a magistrate from the U.S. District Court at the end of the month.

Zarki said judges have some latitude when assessing penalties for violations of park rules. If found guilty, Jones could face fines or jail time, be barred from entering the park or be assigned another form of restitution.

Attempts to contact Jones were unsuccessful Wednesday.

Maybe that explains the mayor’s behavior

Fired up by the AP…

MILLVILLE, N.J. (AP) — Maybe this is why they call it High Street.

Police responded to the scene with a ladder and confiscated the 3-foot-tall plants, which were growing in a basket hanging from a lamp post.

The city’s parks and recreation department, which tends to the baskets, says it has no idea how the pot plants got there.

No arrests have been made yet.

Even Winnie the Pooh knows to watch out for honey bees

This comes to us from thecabin.net…

A manhunt was under way Sunday afternoon and into the evening after a jailbreak at the Faulkner County (Ark.) Detention Center Unit II facility on South German Lane near the YBMA Fairgrounds.

According to Maj. Andy Shock of the Faulkner County Sheriff’s Office, 46-year-old Ricky Dale For escaped the facility’s recreation yard and climbed over an outer chain link fence topped with razor wire at about 3:30 p.m.

Deputies and Conway Police Department patrolmen had set up a perimeter in the area of the jail and at other areas Sunday afternoon, Shock said.

A search dog was brought in from the Maumelle Department of Public Safety, but the dog hadn’t picked up a scent trail as of about 5 p.m., according to Shock.

FCSO Chief Deputy Jerry Grosss said Ford was barefoot and was wearing black-and-white prison clothes when he escaped.

Ford was arrested Wednesday after being stung between 50 and 100 times by honey bees while allegedly attempting to steal items including chainsaws and string trimmers from a home on Billy Goat Mountain. He may still have whelps from these stings, according to Gross.

Shock said he wasn’t aware Sunday of Ford’s criminal history, but said only non-violent offenders are allowed access to the Unit II recreation yard. He also said he wasn’t sure who was supposed to be watching the yard, but that it “will definitely be looked into.”

Jail chief administrator Capt. John Randall said after reviewing video of the escape captured by Unit II’s security camera system that Ford systematically pulled away a section of recreation yard fencing riveted to a steel pole that forms part of a door frame built into the fence.

“He kept going by, kind of peeling away at the fence,” Randall said Sunday evening. “He was walking the perimeter of the yard and every time he would make a loop he would pull at the fence, pulling the rivets away from the fence.”

Randall said a jail officer had warned Ford to stop after the suspicious activity was observed on a security camera monitor. After this Ford seemed to have compelled other inmates in the yard to stand in front of the section of fence, Randall said, obscuring it from the camera’s view.

After it seemed the suspicious activity was continuing, Randall said, an officer was again sent to the yard, but Ford had already slipped through the gap and scaled the outer razor wire-topped fence.

Randall said a lack of manpower at the jail and “inattention to duty” were to blame. At the time of the escape, he said, only two jail officers were on duty to oversee the jail’s 218 male inmates.

Ford is the fifth person to escape from Unit II since 2007, Randall said. The first three escaped over a 6-foot outer fence that has since been replaced with the 13-foot fence that Ford was able to climb over. The fourth escapee also escaped through the recreation yard fence, Randall said.

The scent of a woman, perhaps?

From the Dayton (OH) Daily News…

SPRINGFIELD TWP. — A local man has been charged with breaking into at least three homes and stealing some unusual items — bras and underwear.

Aaron M. Spradlin, 20, was arrested on charges of burglary and one count of trespassing Tuesday night, Sept. 15, according to court records.

Spradlin is accused of breaking into three homes in Springfield Twp. in the past week, taking only women’s underwear and bras, said Clark County Sheriff Gene Kelly.

“He did admit to all three burglaries,” said Kelly.

Spradlin didn’t offer investigators an explanation as to why he took the items, and officials believe he knew the victims, said Kelly.

All the burglaries took place in the daytime, the sheriff added.

Deputies saw Spradlin in his truck in the 1700 block of Troy Road on Tuesday night, according to a sheriff’s report.

The vehicle matched the description of the one used in earlier break-ins, so deputies searched Spradlin’s truck.

“That’s when we discovered the ladies’ undergarments,” said Kelly.

More charges could be filed pending further investigation, he said.

Spradlin pleaded not guilty in Clark County Municipal Court on Wednesday morning.

Judge Eugene Nevius ordered him held on $30,000 bond.

Massachusetts cop resigns after vehicular homicide conviction

This comes to us from the Salem (MA) News…

BEVERLY — Police Officer Stuart Merry resigned at noon today, according to a press release from the Police Department.

Merry’s resignation is effective immediately and “concludes all personnel matters with Officer Merry,” the press release says.

Merry, 42, was convicted on Aug. 20 of negligent vehicular homicide in the cruiser crash that killed Bonney Burns on Cabot Street in January 2007. He was sentenced to three years of probation, 200 hours of community service, a $1,000 fine and the loss of his driver’s license for 15 years. He has been on unpaid administrative leave since April 2008.

The city held a hearing last week to determine whether Merry would be fired.

Why you’re not supposed to talk in the men’s restroom

Thanks to the AP for this bit of bathroom humor…

AUSTIN — A Central Texas man got a 30-day jail sentence for contempt of court after criticizing a judge in a Caldwell County Courthouse men’s room.

State District Judge Jack Robison ordered 69-year-old Don Bandelman released after two days in jail after a state appeals court in Austin made inquiries into the matter.

The episode began June 23 when Robison granted temporary custody of Bandelman’s 13-year-old granddaughter to his son’s ex-wife, instead of his son. Court records reviewed by the Austin American-Statesman show Bandelman followed Robison into the men’s room and berated him as “a fool.” Robison then ordered Bandelman’s arrest.

Bandelman says he’ll complain to the State Commission on Judicial Conduct. In 1991, the Texas Court of Criminal Appeals ruled that insults aren’t sufficient for a contempt citation. (See Bandelman’s photo, more on this storyhere.)

Robison hadn’t returned a Tuesday call from The Associated Press.