At least he wasn’t smoking through his trach tube

This comes to us from the Houston Chronicle (via the AP)…

PITTSBURGH — A fugitive wanted for bank robbery in Michigan is in custody after police say he walked out of a Pittsburgh hospital and into a bar wearing only his hospital gown, with an intravenous needle still his arm.

Authorities say police were called to JR’s Bar Friday night after 20-year-old Elbert Lewis Thompson II walked in from Allegheny General Hospital. Thompson was taken into custody a short time later.

Police in Vandergrift say Thompson had been detained by officers after fleeing a traffic stop there, about 25 miles northeast of Pittsburgh. He was initially hospitalized after complaining of feeling sick and losing consciousness.

Thompson is wanted in Oakland County, Michigan, for armed robbery and other charges. It was not immediately clear if he had an attorney.

Senior citizen robs banks to pay mortgage

This comes to us courtesy of Reuters…

TAMPA, Florida (Reuters) - A 73-year-old Florida man who was arrested for robbing three banks — unarmed and taking $600 in each heist — said he needed the money to pay his home mortgage, police said on Friday.

James Bruce of Tampa was arrested on Thursday. He admitted robbing the banks but said he planned to pay back the money, Tampa Police spokeswoman Laura McElroy said.

“He called it a repayable loan,” she added.

Bruce was unarmed in each of the three robberies. At all three banks, he handed a note to a teller which said he was carrying out a robbery and demanded six $100 bills.

Police said they believed the tellers gave up the money because it was bank policy not to have staff resist robbers in case they were armed. The robberies took place on January 15, February 1 and February 10 in Tampa.

Bruce owns a garden store in Tampa, where he sells pots.

Why you never pee in your own backyard

Financial news from the Houston Chronicle…

BEAUMONT — A former teller in Beaumont and her boyfriend face up to 25 years in prison after being convicted of robbing the bank as she worked.

No sentencing date was immediately set for 25-year-olds Kimberly Michelle Kirkwood and Mark Anthony Owens of Beaumont.

A federal jury Wednesday convicted both of armed bank robbery.

Prosecutors say Kirkwood let Owens into Texas State Bank as she opened for business on Sept. 8, 2007.

Investigators say Kirkwood, with nearly $90,000 in her teller drawer, posed as a victim while Owens claimed to have a weapon and took another teller hostage.

Owens drove off with the cash, but the freed teller wrote down the truck’s license plate number. The vehicle, which belonged to an Owens friend, was later abandoned.

The money was never recovered.

Police on the trail of the bad breath bandit

This comes to us from the AP…

TAMARAC, Fla. — Authorities in Florida are searching for an alleged bank robber with “notably bad breath” who asked a teller to fill an orange Halloween bag with cash.

The Broward County sheriff’s office says the man wore sunglasses when he held up the TD Bank branch in South Florida on Monday morning. (Sun-Sentinel: Video of the heist.)

The man told a teller to fill the bag with cash and motioned toward his waistband. The teller didn’t see a gun during the heist.

Authorities believe the man fled the scene in a white Honda Accord.

Active senior living?

Financial news brought to you by the AP…

SAN DIEGO — FBI officials say an elderly, thin, gray-haired man nicknamed the “Geezer Bandit” is responsible for holding up five San Diego-area banks since summer.

Investigators say the man appears to be in his 70s. Officials say that in the most recent robbery Monday, he approached a Bank of America teller in La Jolla, displayed a handgun and asked for cash. He fled on foot.

FBI spokesman Darrell Foxworth says investigators believe the man is also responsible for robbing four other San Diego County banks since Aug. 28.

Law enforcement officials are offering $16,000 in rewards for information that leads to his arrest and conviction.