No altar boys for this priest

Religious news comes to us from the Houston Chronicle…

CAMERON, Texas — An 86-year-old priest has been sentenced to five years’ probation for forcing an elderly woman to perform a sex act in a central Texas church rectory.

The Rev. Stephen Valenta was sentenced Monday after pleading no contest to a felony charge of injury to the elderly. The plea means he didn’t admit guilt but didn’t contest the charge.

His attorney Chris Gunter says Valenta will remain in a monastery-type home for priests during his probation, and can’t leave unless someone goes with him.

Valenta’s sexual assault charge was dropped as part of the plea deal. The incident happened in 2008 at St. Joseph Catholic Church in Rockdale, about 50 miles northeast of Austin.

Gunter says Valenta lives in Staten Island, N.Y., and serves as a visiting priest.

It’s not like he was watching the Astros

Sports news from the South Jersey Courier-Post…

A 21-year-old man from Cherry Hill is facing charges after Philadelphia police say he intentionally vomited on an 11-year-old girl and her father in the stands during a Phillies game.

Matthew Clemmens was arraigned today on charges stemming from his behavior at Wednesday night’s Phillies-Nationals game.

Police say Clemmens made himself vomit on an off-duty police captain and his daughter after a companion was kicked out for unruly behavior.

Easton police Capt. Michael Vangelo says he saw Clemmens put his fingers down his throat. Philadelphia police say Clemmens also punched Vangelo and vomited on an arresting officer.

Clemmens is in custody on charges including assault and harassment. Bail is $12,000. His listed phone number is disconnected.

Former Rocket convicted of burglary

This comes to us from the Houston Chronicle…

LEBANON, Ohio — Former NBA player Kirk Snyder was convicted Thursday of breaking into a neighbor’s home in the middle of the night and beating him up in his bedroom.

A Warren County jury found the 26-year-old former University of Nevada star guilty of aggravated burglary, felonious assault and assault. The jury had deliberated for less than a day following testimony in the trial, which began Monday.

Snyder broke into the home of dentists Brad and Eugenia Roberts in Deerfield Township, north of Cincinnati, on March 30, 2009. He smashed their rear French doors with a landscape rock and charged through the house to the master bedroom, shoving Eugenia Roberts aside before pummeling Brad Roberts with his fists and then with an alarm clock, prosecutors said. He could receive up to 18 years in prison at his sentencing next month.

Snyder was the 16th player taken in the 2004 NBA draft. He played for the Utah Jazz, New Orleans/Oklahoma City Hornets, Houston Rockets and Minnesota Timberwolves between 2004 and 2008 and then played a season in China.

Snyder has been treated for mental illness and had pleaded not guilty by reason of insanity.

On Wednesday, Dr. Mel Nizny, who saw Snyder in jail a week after the attack, testified that Snyder, who suffers from bipolar disorder, psychosis and paranoia, is not legally responsible for his actions.

“He starts hitting Dr. Roberts, for what reason? He has no clue,” Nizny testified for the defense. “He doesn’t know why. There was no provocation.”

Nizny said that in his first meeting with Snyder the former pro basketball player didn’t want to talk to him.

“He was not in touch with reality,” Nizny said. “He barely knew he was in the jail or why he was there.”

The prosecution’s expert, Dr. Kim Stookey, testified that she found Snyder was not insane when he attacked his neighbor. Stookey said he went in by the back door away from view, cinched his hooded sweat shirt over his face to disguise his identity and fled the scene to avoid detection. Those actions, she said, prove he knew what he was doing was wrong.

Snyder moved to his posh town house in Deerfield Township in September 2008 after his wife kicked him out of their farm house in Bethel and just before he went to play basketball in China. He returned from China last March, meeting the Robertses a couple of days before the break-in.

Man with boxcutters found in… box

Thanks, Houston Chronicle…

SHREVEPORT, La. — Shreveport police say a man accused of brandishing a box-cutter in an attempted holdup was found inside a box, in his bedroom closet.

Cpl. Bill Goodin, a police spokesman, says 34-year-old Ronnie Bishop was arrested late Tuesday and booked into the Caddo Parish jail on one count of attempted armed robbery. Bishop was held in lieu of $250,000 bond.

Goodin says the attempted holdup occurred Monday evening.

He says police also are investigating two other holdups Monday in the same neighborhood, one without any weapon and one using a gun.

Ex-NFL player charged with sexual assault

One week just isn’t enough. More sports news courtesy of Sports Illustrated…

A former Detroit Lion receiver and Fraser High School track coach is facing up to life in prison on allegations he groped and had sex with a young female athlete. Tommie Boyd, 38, was arraigned Thursday in Roseville District Court on six felony counts stemming from two cases of alleged sexual misconduct. Boyd was charged with two counts of second-degree criminal sexual conduct and two counts of accosting children for immoral purpose for incidents that allegedly occurred at Fraser High School and the student’s home beginning in 2007.

Ex-Buc charged with domestic assault on Super Bowl weekend

…and the Super Bowl celebration continues thanks to the Miami Herald…

Warren Sapp, a University of Miami legend and former All-Pro lineman in town to provide TV commentary for the Super Bowl, was arrested by Miami Beach police Saturday after his girlfriend accused him of choking her and throwing her in the couple’s hotel room.

The alleged attack occurred about 5 a.m., after the couple had been partying at Miami Beach’s Shore Club hotel, 1901 Collins Ave., the police report said.

The woman — police did not identify her — called authorities at noon Saturday. Officers arrived at the hotel and met with the 37-year-old former NFL star before taking him to police headquarters, said police spokesman Detective Juan Sanchez.

After detectives questioned Sapp and his girlfriend, police charged Sapp with misdemeanor domestic battery. He was taken to Miami-Dade County jail Saturday evening.

Sapp was set to provide commentary for the Super Bowl — but the NFL Network is taking him off the air until the company reviews the incident.

The girlfriend told police she had been sleeping in the couple’s hotel room when Sapp came in, pulled her out of bed and demanded that she leave the room. As she began to get dressed, he grabbed her neck and began to choke her, the report said.

He shoved her onto a couch and questioned her about men she listed on her cell phone, then picked her up by her shirt and neck and threw her back down, the report stated.

The tussle continued, the report said, and Sapp eventually pushed her out of the room, where she sought help from someone in the hallway.

The report said he sent her a text message that said, “You whore.”

Police reported the woman had bruises on her neck and a swollen right knee. She was taken to Mount Sinai Medical Center.

But, according to the report, Sapp told police there was no fight — and that she slipped off the couch after he asked her to leave the room because he was expecting company.

Sapp told detectives he “tried to help her get off the couch, but she fell backwards and fell on her leg,” the report stated.

Sapp was a star defensive tackle with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and the Oakland Raiders before retiring in 2008. He then competed on ABC’s Dancing with the Stars, where he finished in second place. He has his own clothing line, QB Killa, and is a commentator on the NFL Network’s GameDay Morning.

The NFL Network is temporarily pulling him off the job.

“In light of these circumstances, Warren Sapp will not appear on NFL Network while we review the matter,” the company said in an e-mail to The Miami Herald.

Sapp is no stranger to Miami Beach: At other times, he’s been spotted at The Forge restaurant and swimming at the Gansevoort South hotel’s rooftop pool, racing Olympic champion Michael Phelps.

Hours before the incident with his girlfriend Saturday morning, Sapp was scheduled to appear at the B.E.D. nightclub on South Beach for a disk jockey’s birthday party.

Police said his next appearance will likely be before a judge Sunday morning.

Cowboys’ fullback can’t outrun the law

Sports news from the AP and Fox Sports…

Dallas Cowboys fullback Deon Anderson is free on his own recognizance after his arrest at a suburban restaurant parking lot.

The incident happened early Tuesday in the Dallas suburb of Addison. A statement issued by the town of Addison says police answered an aggravated assault report and learned of a confrontation between several men and a parking valet.

Police arrested the 27-year-old Anderson on outstanding traffic warrants from Irving, another Dallas suburb. Also arrested was his 25-year-old brother, Devon Anderson, on a public intoxication charge.

Cowboys spokesman Rich Dalrymple says team officials are aware of the incident and are investigating.

Deon Anderson played 16 games in his third season, including nine starts, making one catch for 5 yards.

Food fight leads to felony charge

Foodie news from KRGV-TV (Brownsville, TX)…

BROWNSVILLE – A restaurant owner faces an aggravated assault charge.  This is after police say she threw a plate a customer who complained about his order.

Maria Del Rayo Cordero already posted a $7,500 bond.

Police were called to El Rancho Alegre Café, or “The Happy Ranch Cafe,” on East 14th Street Saturday afternoon. Investigators say the customer complained he was served a beef milanesa plate, instead of chicken.

Police say Cordero told the man to pay for the food anyway and leave. An argument ensued. The owner allegedly threw a tray of food and tea at the customer. The customer then threw the tea back. Police say that’s when the owner grabbed a ceramic plate and hit the customer on the forehead. Paramedics treated him at the scene.

Walmart greeter assaulted

This comes via the Houston Chronicle…

PALM BAY, Fla. — A Palm Bay man has been charged with punching an elderly Walmart greeter who asked to see the man’s receipt as he was leaving the store.

Police say 23-year-old Skyler Lowery was walking through the exit at the Palm Bay store Saturday morning when the alarm went off. The 69-year-old employee asked to see Lowery’s receipt. Lowery showed the receipt quickly and kept walking, and the greeter followed Lowery outside.

Police say Lowery grabbed the greeter’s clipboard and tore up a paper, then punched the employee in the head before a second worker intervened.

Lowery was arrested and charged with battery. He was being held on $5,000 bail.

Ohio woman charged with McAssault

Foodie news from the Houston Chronicle…

TOLEDO, Ohio — Police say an Ohio woman punched through a McDonald’s drive-through window because Chicken McNuggets weren’t available.

Police were called Friday to the restaurant in Toledo.

Police say 24-year-old Melodi Dushane was treated for injuries, then jailed. She pleaded not guilty to a vandalism charge. She was released on a recognizance bond and ordered not to have contact with the restaurant. The phone number for her home address isn’t listed.

A manager at the McDonald’s declined Monday to discuss the incident.